fin, finito, finitus, finitamos, finitais, finitan

done.

compleo. compleō, compleāre, compleuī, compleitum.

i am completely finished with my last ever fall semester of college.

with the placement of my intermediate poetry workshop portfolio, safely tucked in the mailbox of bill howe, located in the english department's office in 356 bachelor, i ended my academic education for 2007. and it is the last time.

i'm not usually one for firsts and lasts, (ooh, this was the first piece of gum i chewed, this was the last movie ticket stub i have - enchanted, for those curious), but when it's significant landmarks of my life, well - that's a different story altogether. my first day of college, my last day in london, my first car. these are landmarks people use to define themselves.

i drove around campus after running in my portfolio, as i refused to walk to bachelor in the rain and dismal drizzle. it seemed like the right thing to do. i drove past western, past boyd, past peabody, past kumlar. i have a connection with each building. for boyd, it was an awful lit class. in peabody, numerous fiction readings. and kumlar - one of the most beautiful concerts i have ever sang in. next, i traveled down spring street - there was shriver, home to many a late lunches, midnight munches, and sunday brunches. shiedler, the building responsible for housing the class that forever lowered my gpa (geology of u.s. national parks) and culler, the engineering building where i curiously had three creative writing classes.

then it was past hughes, where i had a film lab last fall and tripped down the seminar room stairs many a time. and laws hall - which has been home to collegiate chorale and an irksome bother to all business majors. and upham - i could almost smell the mothballs and mildew. countless american lit classes, inklings meetings, laws, hall & associates meetings... every building on campus somehow housed a different memory.

i saw campus as an outsider for the first time in two years today. i saw myself in the prospective students wandering around with their parents. that was me nearly three years ago, dreaming of a fresh start at miami. where did the time go? as i drove past and saw king library encased in mist, i saw it as i saw it when i still went to grove city - impossibly large, imposing, austere. but at the same time, i know it isn't that bad.

i guess focusing on all that won't help matters, and i know i should be excited for things to come. but it's like being in a well-lit, familiar room, and stepping across the threshold into a dark room. it's the dark room of hughes. i can't see what's right in front of me. it's unknown, and scary, and i'm not sure i'm ready.

quote o' the day: "i know new york, i need new york, i know i need unique new york."