one falling star to another

i like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. this is the night, what it does to you. i had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
-jack kerouac


ironically, i've had this quote up on my wall ever since reading on the road my freshman year. it kind of makes sense, though. that when you're forced to pick a college, pick a major, pick what you want to do for the rest of your life, the tasks before you seem a little more than daunting. is anyone else falling out there? not failing, no - that would imply the process of trying in something and not succeeding - but falling implicates no knowledge of where you'll land or what you do end up doing when your feet finally - if ever - touch the ground.

i went home this past weekend for a good many reasons. to see my parents, yes, and to see old and familiar faces, but more to gain clarity. and also, the canfield fair was in town, which meant as much fried food on a stick as any artery-clogging food aficcianado could possibly want. but it made me realize - i've moved on from home - that is, my life isn't waiting for me in akron anymore. i don't go to school there anymore (high school shouldn't have sequels), i don't work at fairlawn country club anymore (and the people rejoiced!) and i certainly don't think i'll end up there (working at ... goodyear?). i think any of us are naive enough in the beginning to think anything is possible, and i'm fairly optimistic (despite my constant cynicism and omnipresent satirical comments) and believe that if you do work hard enough, you can achieve what you've set out to do.

in which case, i would be the queen of the world, sitting on a throne of pure godiva chocolate, with a sceptre and swaroski crown and all, and i'd just be allowed to sit around all day (just not on the throne, as it's made of chocolate and is very easily apt to melt) and read, write, paint, whatever. plus i could make people i'm not particularly fond of perform court tricks and make them wear jester shoes. that's just ideal.

mind over matter.
sure 'nuff.

quote of the day:
it's time to trust my instincts
close my eyes

and leap...